They’re at it again, those blasted kids. It never ends.
All they do is make noise. It always starts in the afternoon. First, comes the music and I use the term loosely. It’s that heavy metal garbage with all the screaming. Whatever happened to jazz? Next, there’s the thumping. They incessantly shuffle around playing those damn video games. I think it’s something called an XBox. It’s either that or they’re looking at that idiot box. These young whippersnappers need to read a book, something to stimulate the mind, or find a job.
I don’t even understand how they afford this place. It’s $2000 a month and the only time they ever leave they come back with these loose women. Then, the moaning commences and that’s worse than the music. That’s when I get the broom. They’re not the only ones that can thump. I always start off low with a little tap, poking away at the side wall. It always gets ignored. They get a little louder. The bed starts creaking and the loose woman starts to moan. I tap louder. I don’t stop but neither do they. It ‘s like a battle in the night.
Tonight, I’ll end it though. It’s 11:23 p.m. and the one they call Popcorn just came back. They’re talking that low, intimate talk. I feel sorry for the poor thing he’s in there wooing. I wonder if she knows he has venereal disease. In a whopping ten minutes, he has her clothes off. “Oooohhh feels so good,” she moans. Here comes the noise. But today I’m not grabbing the broom, but the BB gun. I cock it and “Phew!” There’s one through the wall. “What the hell?” says Popcorn. I cock again and another one flies through. The bed creaking stops. “Is that your neighbor?” says girl. “Fire in the whole!” I cackle. “AAAAHHHH SHIT!!!” screams Popcorn. I bet I’ll never hear a peep from them again.
You say in the tag "old people." I'm not really getting a strong sense of "old people" here. The idea is great, and it could see how it would be difficult to write as a college student in the mind of an old person. I think its a good idea that could grow to something really good, and even funnier than it already is.
ReplyDeleteHow does a BB gun go through the wall? I've never shot one so I wouldn't know, but I'm questioning the gun's strength.
ReplyDeleteOn the contrary to what Jeff said, I feel the essence of an older person, but maybe don't try so hard, like with the word "whippersnappers," although it does add some comedic effect.
Tell us more about the narrator. How does he afford his place? How does he know Popcorn's name, and that his neighbor has a venereal disease? A BB gun would not go through a wall, and so makes the narrator comical and ineffectual; it would be a very different story if he has a real gun. In that case, the conflict would need to escalate more dramatically. It's an interesting strategy to keep the characters separated by a wall, but you might consider having them interact.
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